Imagine finding out that your husband has been cheating on you with a coworker for months, using a hidden app to store photos and videos of their affair. Imagine seeing him use your toddler son’s blanket to cover his mistress in one of the videos. How would you feel? What would you do?
This is the story of a woman who shared her experience on Reddit, and how she decided to contact a divorce lawyer and leave him with evidence and papers. Her story is heartbreaking, but also inspiring, as she shows courage, strength, and dignity in the face of betrayal.
In this article, we will analyze her situation and offer some advice on how to deal with a cheating spouse. We will cover the following topics:
- The signs of cheating
- The emotional impact
- The legal steps
- The recovery process
Key takeaways:
- Cheating is never acceptable or justified, and it can have devastating consequences for the betrayed partner and the children.
- If you suspect your spouse is cheating, you can use technology to find out the truth, such as screen recording, screenshots, cloud backup, etc.
- If you discover your spouse is cheating, you should keep calm and not confront him immediately. You should seek support from friends, family, or professionals, and cope with your emotions in a healthy way.
- If you decide to divorce your spouse, you should protect yourself financially, legally, and emotionally. You should gather evidence and documentation for the divorce process, and consult a lawyer.
- If you leave your spouse, you should heal from the trauma of cheating and rebuild your self-esteem and trust. You should find happiness and love again after a divorce.
The signs of cheating
Cheating is not always easy to detect, as some spouses can be very good at hiding their affairs. However, there are some clues that could indicate infidelity, such as:
- Changes in behavior: Your spouse may become more distant, secretive, defensive, or irritable. He may also change his appearance, habits, or schedule without explanation.
- Lack of intimacy: Your spouse may lose interest in sex or affection with you. He may also avoid eye contact or physical contact with you.
- Suspicious phone activity: Your spouse may spend more time on his phone, texting, calling, or browsing. He may also lock his phone, delete his messages or calls history, or use a hidden app to store his photos and videos.
- Unexplained expenses: Your spouse may spend more money than usual on gifts, clothes, travel, or hotels. He may also hide his receipts or bank statements from you.
If you notice any of these signs in your spouse, you may want to investigate further. You can use technology to find out the truth, such as:
- Screen recording: You can use your phone or computer to record what your spouse is doing on his phone or computer. You can also use a spy app like MSPY to remotely monitor his activity.
- Screenshots: You can take pictures of his phone or computer screen when he is not looking. You can also use a spy app or software to remotely capture his screen.
- Cloud backup: You can access his cloud account where he may store his photos and videos. You can also use a spy app or software to remotely backup his data.
- Hidden app: You can look for any hidden app on his phone that he may use to store his photos and videos. You can also use a spy app or software to remotely reveal his hidden app.
However, you should be careful when using these methods, as they may be illegal or unethical in some situations. You should also be prepared for what you may find out.
The emotional impact
Finding out that your spouse is cheating on you can be devastating. You may feel a range of emotions, such as:
- Shock: You may feel numb, confused, or disbelief when you discover his affair. You may wonder how he could do this to you and why he did it.
- Anger: You may feel furious, betrayed, or resentful towards him and his mistress. You may want to confront him or hurt him back.
- Pain: You may feel hurt, sad, or depressed when you realize he lied to you and broke your trust. You may also feel insecure, unworthy, or unlovable.
- Guilt: You may feel guilty for not noticing his affair sooner or for not being enough for him. You may also blame yourself for his actions or wonder what you did wrong.
These emotions are normal and valid when you are dealing with a cheating spouse. However, they can also be overwhelming and unhealthy if they are not managed properly.
Therefore, you should seek support from friends, family, or professionals who can help you cope with your feelings in a healthy way.
Some ways to cope with your emotions are:
- Express yourself: You can talk to someone you trust about your situation and how you feel. You can also write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal or a letter.
- Take care of yourself: You can do things that make you happy and relaxed, such as listening to music, reading a book, or taking a walk. You can also take care of your physical and mental health, such as eating well, sleeping enough, and meditating.
- Seek help: You can seek professional help from a therapist or a counselor who can help you process your emotions and heal from the trauma of cheating. You can also join a support group or an online community where you can meet other people who are going through the same thing.
See also: 15 Signs Your Marriage Will End in Divorce
The legal steps
If you decide to divorce your spouse after finding out he is cheating on you, you should protect yourself financially, legally, and emotionally.
You should gather evidence and documentation for the divorce process, and consult a lawyer who can advise you on your rights and options.
Some steps to take are:
- Gather evidence: You should collect all the evidence of his affair, such as photos, videos, messages, calls, receipts, etc. You should also save them in a secure place, such as a cloud account or a flash drive. You should also make copies of them in case he tries to delete them or destroy them.
- Gather documentation: You should collect all the documentation related to your marriage and finances, such as marriage certificate, bank statements, tax returns, property deeds, etc. You should also make copies of them and keep them in a safe place.
- Consult a lawyer: You should find a reputable lawyer who specializes in divorce and family law. You should tell him everything about your situation and show him the evidence and documentation you have gathered. He can help you file for divorce and represent you in court. He can also help you negotiate the terms of the divorce, such as alimony, child support, custody, etc.
The recovery process
If you leave your spouse after finding out he is cheating on you, you should heal from the trauma of cheating and rebuild your self-esteem and trust. You should find happiness and love again after a divorce.
Some ways to recover are:
- Cut contact: You should cut all contact with him and his mistress, unless it is necessary for legal or child-related matters. You should block him on social media, phone, email, etc. You should also avoid seeing him or talking to him in person. This will help you move on and avoid further drama or pain.
- Forgive yourself: You should forgive yourself for any mistakes or regrets you may have regarding your marriage or divorce. You should realize that you are not responsible for his actions or choices. You should also acknowledge your strengths and achievements and be proud of yourself.
- Rediscover yourself: You should rediscover yourself as an individual and not as part of a couple. You should explore your interests and hobbies and try new things. You should also set goals and pursue them with passion and confidence.
- Date again: You should date again when you are ready and not before. You should not rush into a new relationship or rebound with someone else. You should also not compare your new partner with your ex or expect him to be perfect. You should be open-minded and honest with yourself and your partner.
Cheating is one of the worst things that can happen in a relationship. It can destroy your trust, confidence, and happiness. However, it does not have to define you or your future. You can deal with a cheating spouse by finding out the truth, seeking support, taking legal action, and moving on with your life.
You deserve better than a lying, selfish partner. You deserve respect, loyalty, and love.
- You are not alone.
- You are strong.
- You are beautiful.
- You are worthy.
- You are enough.
