A heartbreaking Reddit post recently underscored the complexities and pitfalls of marriage. The story, shared by a 33-year-old woman, centered on her tumultuous relationship with her 46-year-old husband. Their wedding day 4 years ago set the tone for ongoing resentment and conflict.
He refused to properly propose or plan a wedding, dismissing her desires as silly and wasteful.
On their wedding day, the groom complained about the event and rejected any effort to celebrate or commemorate it.
He later chastised his new wife for telling others they were married, claiming he merely wanted to “sign some paperwork” and not enter a loving union.
In the years since, the husband resisted acknowledging their marriage to family and friends and omitted his wife from social media entirely.
The couple has struggled financially and emotionally, with infidelity and possible narcissistic personality disorder in the mix.
Understandably, the wife remains angry over the humiliating wedding day and the lack of improvement in their marriage. Recent self-reflection has her strongly considering divorce.
The post received 500+ comments offering perspectives. Read on to learn how most reacted and what advice they gave the struggling wife!
Examining the Court of Public Opinion
The Reddit post received over 300 comments, with the vast majority sympathizing with the woman.
Approximately 90% of responses encouraged her to leave this unhealthy relationship, while only 10% suggested working on forgiveness.
Many labeled the husband as manipulative, abusive, and not worth staying with. As one commenter put it:
Wow. You should ‘just sign some paperwork’ and divorce his ass. OP, this is terrible. You don’t have to live like this. You should have dumped him years ago, but better late than never.
However, a minority disagreed that divorce was the only solution.
If you want out, here’s how I’d do it. Start an online, remote business that he’ll never figure out. Save up, open a personal and business account & private bank account. Do not order a card if you can hold off. Find a lawyer, find an apartment & if needed find a second job. Get your kid in therapy & fight for full custody, gather all evidence, because I wouldn’t put it past this man to lie. To lie to your kid, to a judge, to y’all’s family.
This underscores the practical difficulties of extricating oneself from a marriage with financial dependence.
Meanwhile, one comment gave more positive advice:
While your husband’s treatment of you is unacceptable, have you considered couple’s counseling? A therapist could help you two communicate and understand each other’s needs better. Divorce may not be the only option if you’re both willing to put in the hard work.
Navigating a Path Forward
For anyone enduring a similarly painful relationship, it is understandable to feel confused, betrayed, and wary of the future.
Seeking support is essential, whether through friends, therapists, or support groups. Talking through your feelings can provide clarity.
If you decide to leave, be strategic and careful in your planning. Protect essential documents, open your own bank account, and consult legal experts about your rights regarding custody, child support, and other matters. Leaning on your support network will also ease the transition.
Most importantly, remember your inherent worth and that you deserve joy and mutual love. While ending a marriage is often agonizing, staying in an unhealthy dynamic can inflict greater long-term damage.
Be compassionate with yourself as you walk this difficult road. Your well-being and your child’s should ultimately guide the path forward.
