{This is a guest post by Kristin Morrissey.}

How many times have you exchanged the phrase “Take Care” with someone – could be a new acquaintance or an old friend, either as a polite social closing or a deeply meaningful plea.   Whatever the circumstances, we seem to dish out “take cares” freely to anyone and everyone…except to ourselves.

And the reasons are many.  Though we know we should take better care of ourselves, we are short on time, resources or ideas.  Too many other people and things need caring for, and we’ll eventually get to us when life settles down just a little.

But what would it be like if there was a way to care for ourselves while doing regular life?

It would have to be simple, right?  And we would probably need some kind of proof before we’d invest in anything new that requires our attention.

Before I took Lisa Byrne’s “Designed for Wellness” course, there were many things I knew about healthy living that pretty much stayed in my head and did not trickle down to behavioral changes.

For example I knew I should eat better – more whole grains, more vegetables, less processed stuff, and it’s preferable if the whole foods are organic.  I knew I should drink my 8 glasses of water per day.  I knew I should do something about my obsession with chocolate.  I knew these were good philosophies but other than a general notion of “being healthier” I never knew what was truly in it for me.

Lisa’s class taught me, by experience, that what I put into my body in the way of nutrition could actually give back to me in terms of increased energy, greater stamina, and more steady emotions.

I had no idea that taking care of myself could be a series of choices that happen in the midst of everything else, and that instead of being another chore, it would feel so good!

It feels good to eat foods that satisfy and nourish instead of being perpetually hungry and not really knowing why.

It feels good to know when I’m actually thirsty versus hungry.

It feels good to know what foods to reach for when I’m feeling spacey and need some grounding.

It feels good to deeply enjoy special treats instead of feeling guilty for snacking on “bad food”.

It feels good to be free of the battle with willpower, restrictions and clever mind games and be finally able to trust my body to know what is best.

And it feels really good to take care of myself by applying the Golden Rule to me  - offering myself the same grace, forgiveness, and second (or third) chances I would to anyone else I love.

So the next time you tell someone to “take care,” use that moment to imagine how good it might feel to take care of you.

Kristin Batstone Morrissey is a stay-at-home mom of 4 kiddos ages 10, 8, 6 and 3.  She lives in a city by the sea and enjoys yoga, photography, piano playing and listening to audio books while folding laundry. Check out her blog here.

When I ask women, and in particular busy moms, what their biggest obstacle to staying healthy is, two answers seems to always rise to the top.

No time and no energy.

We feel suffocated with the amount of things on our plate and the dizzying, non-stop pace that life is happening.   We often can not imagine how we would make the time to care for ourselves.

Many moms also feel exhausted and drained...and not only at the end of the day, but often all throughout the day.  This deep tiredness makes it hard to imagine how to squeeze out any more energy toward taking care of ourselves.

Today, I’d like to talk specifically about making more time in our lives to do the things we want to do…and to do the things that will make us feel a whole lot better (and more energized).

The second part of this post-series talks about the energy issue.  But both of these concepts are paradoxical in nature.  Because, in some scenarios, when we expend energy, we actually gain more of it.  And when we spend time, we open more up in our lives.

The key is what we are spending our time on, and how we are expending our energy.

Time and energy are commodities (like money), and when they are invested well, they return an even higher yield…when invested poorly, they quickly drain away.

Today I want to share 3 ways you can spend your time which will actually give you more time in your life.

1. Planning vs Preparing

There is a huge difference between planning and preparation.  If you are like me, you may love lists and organizing things.  In fact, it is easy to get a bit addicted to pulling out paper and compartmentalizing all the things you have to do in neat little rows and boxes.  At my finest, I can even be found color coding.  The problem is, planning can way too often move from a productive activity to diminishing returns. There is only so many times you can rewrite a list before you are simply wasting time.

Conversely think about preparation. When I set up my breakfast the night before so I have a smoother time in the morning, I’m spending time which makes time.  When I cook once and then utilize leftovers wisely so they are part of the next night’s meal, I’m spending time which makes time.  When I set out the family’s water glasses and vitamins on the counter so we are sure to drink and take them, I’m spending time which makes time.

The action of preparing for the things we want to include in our lives is a major investment in how we spend our hours. It helps us meet our goals and keeps us on track for what we want to remember during the day.

2. Learning New Skills

I’ve often reflected on how “simple” living in today’s society can feel quite complex and difficult at times.

If I don’t have the skills in cooking, shifting from convenience foods to home cooked meals takes a lot more time and effort.  If I don’t have the skills in sewing, making things as simple as cloth diapers feels insurmountable next to the option of simply buying them.  If I don’t know how to change a tire– I could be spending a whole afternoon by the side of the road, instead of getting the job done myself.

And if I don’t have the skills in household management (or taking care of my body or eating right or managing my stress or you fill in the blank*) than the experience of dealing with that feels overwhelming and laborious.

Once you identify those things that you struggle with most on a daily basis, seek out ways to grow and learn more about them. Become more of your own expert on the things that make up your life. In the end it saves a whole lot more than time!

3. Being Ahead of Schedule

The third way we can spend extra time in order to get more in the end, is to stay ahead of our schedule.

The biggest zapper of having an abundance of time is the experience of always being behind. When you schedule your day, be ultra realistic with how much time each thing you need to get done will take.

Something that helped me get a handle on this was mini tasking my to-do list.  Giving ourselves adequate time to complete our day’s tasks forces us to be realistic about what we can expect to do in a day and will require that we think deeply about what things we want to keep in our lives and what we need to let go of.

Another aspect is to start your day ahead of schedule. The power of having some time in the first part of your day to yourself in order to enter your day calmly and slowly, from a place of intention, can reap tremendous benefits for the rest of the day.

I know not everyone can make this happen.   For me, the infant year is a hard time to expect myself to have an hour to myself before everyone wakes, but even 15 minutes of prayer and quiet before the hum of the day begins does a spirit good and sets you up for staying on top of your day.

But I’d love to hear from you!  What ways do you spend time, which in actuality gives you back more time in your life?

p.s.: *If those skills: taking care of your body, eating right, managing your stress, ect…were ones you’d be interested in sharpening, check out my upcoming online healthy living program for busy moms here.

{This is a guest post by Sherri Kruger from Serene Journey and Zen Family Habits}

“Doing what we love and what makes us feel inspired and creative is important for own wellness and growth. And it also models important values to our children.” – Lisa Byrne from Rekindling Parts Of Yourself.

I get asked this question quite often: “How do you get so much done and still have time to raise a family?”

I’ll start off by telling you I’m just an ordinary girl, wife to a great husband and mom to two very young, very active boys. I’m certainly not super woman, I don’t always have my stuff together and there are days where I don’t feel I’m adding much value at all.

That said I do raise my kids, work on my marriage and manage to maintain two blogs and created a new site to further help people be awesome.

You don’t need to be superman or super woman to get a lot of stuff done. There is one thing in particular that you can do to drastically improve your juggling skills. And that is to Synergize.

Once you align what you love with what you do you can achieve amazing things.

All of my online adventures are tied in with what I enjoy in “real life”. Serene Journey is where I focus on helping people lead happier, simpler more deliberate lives. Zen Family Habits is where I share many of the same things but with a stronger focus on family – which I’m passionate about as I now have a family of my own.

My newest endeavor (which launched yesterday!) is called Listbean. It’s a site that will help people be awesome, through the power of organization I want to help people be awesome at being effective, efficient and deliberate in everything they do.

The common themes that run through all of these sites are simplicity, happiness, and living true to yourself.

These are also things I strive for in my real life. Two years ago my husband and I downsized our home and purged a lot of stuff we were holding onto because we thought we may need it someday. We’ve also recently taken a look at where we are and where we ultimately want to go as individuals and as a family. All of which I share and incorporate into my various online projects.

Doing things and getting stuff done does take a lot more than simply aligning what you enjoy with what you do, I mean there is the actual doing part as well. But if you can work towards synergy you’ll have a huge advantage.

A typical day for me:

5:30-6:45am up and exercise/write/coffee/tea/breakfast/make bed/make lunches

7:30am online email/write/read

8/8:30am breakfast for the boys

9 – 1pm dishes, vacuum, laundry, dust, clean bathrooms, outside gardening, walking, lunch, clean up

1-3pm boys nap; me: write, plan, garden, make phone calls, return emails

3-7pm prep dinner, tidy the house, play outside, eat dinner, clean up, play/read, bath, bed

7-11pm write, plan, email, time with hubby

It’s a full day but when the lines dividing your roles blur you can become very efficient and effective at what you do since it all feeds into each other and is really one in the same.

Some of the tools I use:

My productivity system isn’t pretty. It’s not the latest and greatest app it’s actually a combination of a bunch of ideas from a bunch of different systems.

I think the most important thing to remember when choosing an organizing system is to make sure it works for you. If it doesn’t don’t be afraid to toss it aside and try a different one. If your constantly fighting your system you won’t be very productive.

To keep track of my various projects I have a very large scrap book, the kind kids use to create their masterpieces. Each project gets a different color post-it note and as ideas come to my head I add them on individual notes.

At the front of the scrapbook I have a “working on” page where I keep 3 things I’m currently working on. They can be all from the same project or from three different projects it doesn’t matter. The reason this works for me is I can focus on a small number of things at a time and when they are complete I don’t have to think “now what do I do?” I simply flip through my scrapbook and move a few more sticky notes to the front and work on them. Easy peasy I think.

The driving force behind Listbean

I disliked having to write and then re-write lists every time I did something.

Take going to the in-laws for the weekend. I thought it was such a waste of time rewriting the list of what to take. And when I didn’t write a list I would always forget something – last visit it was the playpen. That made for an interesting evening I’ll tell ya.

Being fully customizable is what, in my opinion, makes Listbean an important tool in my arsenal of productivity tools.

Thanks to my hubby I also keep track of goals/desires/wishes on a larger scale. So I start by asking myself: What do I want to accomplish this year or this month?

This allows me to choose which smaller, more specific things to focus on in any given day or week so that I’m always inching closer to being where I ultimately want to be.

But maybe this type of goal setting isn’t for you, maybe you’re a details person if so make sure to revisit Lisa’s Mastering the Mini-task it’s an excellent article on breaking down to-do items into next actionable items.

My biggest piece of advice is not to wait.

Don’t wait for the right time, don’t wait for a slow time, don’t wait until next week, and most certainly don’t wait until things are perfect – because I’m sure you know that’s never going to happen. Start slow but the key is to start. As you begin to juggle you’ll know what works and what doesn’t. Toss the things that don’t and keep adding things that work and add value to your life.

It’s not really a secret it’s just trying the best you can to align what you love to do with what you’re actually doing. The rest just falls into place.

What things in your life use the power of synergy?  What do you feel passionate about?  Have you found ways to bring your passion into your everyday living?

{Note from Lisa: Thank you for this fantastic post, Sherri!  If you aren’t familiar with Serene Journey and Zen Family Habits you’ll want to check these sites out– they are incredible sources for living a simple, happy and fulfilled life. And get on over to Listbean today–it’s free! I am already customizing many of my own lists…an incredible time saver for busy moms!}

I was talking to my husband the other day about how he was feeling in life– overwhelmed and stressed over the sense of not being on top of things.

Completely familiar feeling to me,  we all  know it– the burnt out feeling.

I was saying how we needed to make space for him to get “filled up”– pursue the fire and passion of something he loved again– or maybe simply get together with some good friends and feel refreshed.

I was trying to make the case to prioritize that over spending time making sure everything at home was organized and squared away.

And he response was, “Yeah, of course, that is important, Lis, but I feel like I need to unclog more than fill up right now.  If I could just have a couple hours to clean out the garage or straighten through my schedule book– that would feel incredible– to put some order back into parts of my life that feel disorganized.”

And the light bulb went off.

Our inner clutter reflects our outer clutter…as much as our outer clutter impacts our inner clutter.

Inner clutter– on a physical and mental level can be cared for through excellent nutrition, stress management, relationship building, creating, doing things you love and enjoy, movement, connection to God, ect.

Our outer clutter– the state of our homes, the cleanliness, the organization, the systems, the upkeep, routine and schedules we keep…that is just as important.

The balance of filling up and unclogging.

Both are so necessary to our well being.

Thinking of the example of a sink :  of course you want to put clear, life giving water in (fill up the well)…but if you have clogged pipes (disorganized, clutter)– that needs to be tended to as well.

We need both– attention to the care of our life maintenance and our home maintenance for a smooth running system.

Do you tend to focus on one, to the exclusion of the other?  Are you better at life maintenance or home maintenance?  Do you find it difficult to strike the right balance in your life?

Photo by Pioneer Woman

“…understand that to nurture and love others with the grace you desire means taking care of yourself and cultivating your own inner harmony. Inner harmony grows not by finding ways to get away from your child, but by giving yourself the gift of a hot bath at the end of a long day, reading a book of poetry, talking to a friend on the phone, taking a nap, crying, getting a massage, having a day off from cleaning and cooking, staying in your pajamas all day, swimming, going out to eat, or attending a conference. Do something for yourself as you give. Learn to laugh at yourself and not take yourself so seriously.”
~ Peggy O’Mara, The Way Back Home

I read this quote in a post on SouleMama a bit ago and it struck a nerve with me.

So often I espouse how important it is to take “Me-Time” and invest in quality, loving care of ourselves in order to be the most vital, whole and healthy women and mothers we can be.

But here is the question we need to ask ourselves–

When you get time in your week – do you do things that fill you up, or are you simply spending time away from the kids?

Is your “Me Time” sucked away by surfing the web or flicking through channels on the TV?

Do you automatically go into productivity mode and clean the house or run errands to the neglect of investing in something that makes you feel happy or alive?

The heart of self care is ultimately to keep the fire stoked and burning. To engage in something that speaks to our hearts, fuels our passions, clarifies our dreams, brings beauty and awe and inspiration into our life.

Are we feeding that part of us that needs renewal, creativity, beauty and wonder?

What stirs something in you and keeps you growing?