It’s a scenario that I hate to admit but happens far too often.
I’m having a chaotic week. I have too much on my plate as is and my mind is full of thoughts about when I’m going to get everything done on time. I drop my son off to school and the teacher asks, “Can you bring in the healthy snacks for Jackson’s class this Friday?” I immediately answer, “Of course!”, and file away another thing I have to coordinate this week.
By the weekend, I’m fried and we are hosting a family bbq. Moments before everyone gets here, I’m frantically throwing clothes into the laundry room and trying to wipe down counters and Madelyn walks into the kitchen to ask for a drink and I blow up sternly telling her to get out of the kitchen and go downstairs so I can finish cleaning.
She huffs off. I stand in tears at the sink wondering how exactly I let this happen again.
Old patterns run deep and even for those of us committed to taking back the reigns of our life and working toward more balance and harmony – it is easy to find ourselves functioning under what I call a “society defined” definition of Super Mom.
Ultimately that definition says that I should:
1. Do all things and meet all needs.
2. Be all things to all people.
3. Manage my outer image so that no one sees I’m falling apart inside.
There is rarely talked about trap that happens when we start to function under a “society defined” definition of Super Mom.
And here is the crux of the trap.
The more we try to do all things and meet all needs around us…the less time we actually spend on things that are most important to us.
The more we try to be all things to all people…the people that matter most to us tend to get the worst of us.
The more energy we spend managing our outer image to people…the more exhausted and depleted we become at the core.
In a recent interview-styled class I gave for Dr. Sara Gottfried’s Mission Ignition course on adrenal health I go deep into the current default mode so many modern mothers fall into which leads to intense overwhelm, exhaustion and a deep disconnect with who we are. Over time, it can feel like we are living someone else’s life for most of our days.
I’ve found it crucial to rewrite your own self-defined definition of who you are as a modern woman and mother in order to bring more calm, clarity, ease and abundance into your everyday life.
And I outline 6 critical ways you can begin to do that today in the interview below.
*p.s. I know this image says 9 critical ways…just caught that now, but can’t bring myself to redo the whole video to change that– hope you’ll understand!*
An interview with Lisa Byrne of www.WellGroundedLife.com as part of Dr. Sara Gottfried’s Mission Ignition Adrenal Health Course (Find out more about Dr Sara at www.saragottfriedmd.com)
I’d love to hear from you! What you believe the current “society defined” Super Mom definition is and what is your personal “self-defined” definition instead?
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Loved this Lisa! It really spoke to me in this particular season of my life. I have recently returned back to the point of being depleted and overwhelmed and honestly I can’t/couldn’t tell you what I need to do to get out of this hole. This is recording was one that I will be listening to over and over again to remind myself what the essential elements need to be for me to get back to a good place. Thank you!
Noell,
So grateful you took a moment to comment…I love hearing that the class was so valuable to you! One step at a time, mama…some seasons are really more challenging than others, but being good and gracious to ourselves is always the right direction.
Lisa–I’m having one of those weeks now (my chilld care fell through for the week and my editor needs my book edits soon–deadlines are barking at the door). The big super woman flag for me is around “shoulds” (I start to twitch when I hear that word–whether it’s internal or external). I have a lot of “shoulds” around cooking and food. I really love to nourish myself and my family through delicious, prana-rich, local, deliciously cooked organic veggies. But sometimes breaking my back to make a ginger-tofu-mushroom stirfry is the LAST thing I should be doing when there’s a lot going on. It seems I can practice good is good enough in many arenas of my life, but food is the final frontier for me.
Baby steps and lots of self-compassion. Maybe we’ll have carrot sticks and hummus for dinner tonight. Love you and your messages—Renee
So many great things to think about in this conversation- wow! It sounds like I’m not the only overwhelmed mommy out there and that there is hope!
thanks a ton! Will be listening for more of these and trying to implement the points!