A few months ago, when my youngest was around 4 months old, I was given some time to do something just ”for myself”. My mom took both kids out for lunch and I had an hour to renew or recharge or just enjoy. And I was completely lost as to what to do…I didn’t have a clue any longer how to spend “me” time.
I literally walked around my house in circles a bit before I defaulted into cleaning up and getting toys organized. I hadn’t realized how disconnected from myself and what I enjoyed I had become. Life with little ones so easily can become task and other-oriented. Preserving and incorporating things that bring YOU fulfillment, creativity and enjoyment can easily get lost.
After this particular afternoon, I decided I needed to be more prepared with ideas when I could steal away 15 minutes here or an hour there, to indulge in some personal time. It would have seemed ridiculous if you told this to me when I was single, but my mind most days doesn’t switch over from hyper-focused on my kids and the needs of the house to self-care ideas very easily…and all too often when I do have some free time, it whittles away without me taking advantage of it.
When I began working again from home, I started keeping a mini-task list. Things that I could get done in 5 -15 min…so when they both (halleluja) would overlap their naps for a short time, I was prepared with things I could get done and be productive. I decided to apply this to my me-time. I started a list of things that I could do if I even had 15 minutes in a day to make me feel good.
Here is a sampling of my *growing* self care menu:
- Brew some tea with honey and sit in a rocking chair near a window, quietly sip and stare away
- Hot towel scrub
- Take a walk outside and get some fresh air
- Get into comfy clothes and do some stretching
- Write a friend a snail mail letter on pretty paper
- Paint
- Pop some popcorn and pop in a favorite movie
- Take a warm bath with epsom salts and calming essential oils
I keep adding to this list when something inspires me. I encourage you to think through the things that you truly enjoy, things that bolster your quotient of self care- Make a list of ways to bring more calm and renewal into your everyday life and post it up- (maybe on the refrigerator?) as a reminder to take advantage of the moments you have to fill your cup.
What are some of the things you would include on your Me-Time Menu?
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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
What great ideas. I, too, have the same problem of not knowing how to spend “found” time for myself. (except for reading blogs, of course:))
I’m going to start a list like this today!
These are two of my favorite things:
1- Get a great collection of short stories. When my kids were very young, I never had the time or energy to read an entire book without huge gaps of time between chapters, but I could always manage a short story.
2- At home manicure. When I was in high school and college, I always kept my nails polished and shaped. It is something I missed so much when I first became a mom. It makes you feel pampered and polished.
One of my favorite me timeactivities is to “putter” around the house when it is empty of little people. Once a week my hubby takes the kids to run a few errands. During that time I pick up old magazines, pick through a drawer, make a few phone calls (how glorious to have no interruptions), and generally do nothing. Giving myself permission after a busy week to “not” get anything done for a couple of hours is HEAVENLY!
What a great post! I’m not a momma but a newlywed and I found that I have a hard time finding things to do when DH is working on a Saturday or doing something on his computer. My default is to clean, but I definitely want to make a list of things to do just for me.
@shawn: I agree!! When I WANT to do nothing, just because it is GOOD to do nothing somethings, I love it. And I couldn’t relate more with how glorious it is to walk around your home when the little ones are gone for a bit. The odd silence about it makes me see the house in a different light, too.
Hi Lisa,
I just had to let you know how much I love your site. I just discovered it today, and read through the posts you have so far for this year, and feel more peaceful after just reading what you’ve written.
I can’t wait to read what you have in store for us (I think you are my new favorite blogger)!
Oh, also — the hot towel scrub is AWESOME!
I totally relate to losing the ability for “me-time”…and I tend to do what you said, WORK when the kids are gone instead of doing something that will renew me. And I feel like it sounds silly to say that I didn’t really know how to take care of myself, but I didn’t…and I’m learning now!
Feels great…
I love to paint-right now I am painting rocks for our cactus/rock garden. I also enjoy reading, spending time on the computer reading blogs or connecting on Facebook, chatting with my sisters/Mom on the phone, reading, taking a short nap, playing a little guitar, or catching up on my Bible study (we’re doing a Beth Moore study this year). I have tended not to do much pampering of self, but I find myself enjoying being able to take a long, hot shower with NO interruptions!
The hot towel scrub is great, too, and/or also soak my feet for a mini-pedicure. In the dry climate we’re in, I need to do that more often anyway!
I don’t remember how I stumbled on your site, but THANK YOU so much for posting this. I’m a part-time working-from-home mom to an 8 month old daughter, and I so completely relate to the lack of ability to think of what to do with “me time”–my husband is always offering it, and I turn it down IN FAVOR OF DOING HOUSEHOLD CHORES because I can’t remember what “me time” is (and at least I’m “getting something done”).
The few things on my Me-Time Menu are reading a book, getting caught up on my Google Reader, blogging, and–my all time favorite–when I can get out of the house for half an hour or so, driving around my city while blaring my “guilty pleasures” CDs (the ones I used to love in high school) and singing at the top of my lungs. Ahhhh…
Oh I am loving everyone’s comments! And Kristine– what a great menu item: Blaring your favorite tunes while taking a drive! I love it!
@Becky– count me in as well with not always knowing how to take care of myself– I feel like I am still in the process of really knowing myself and what keeps me well, balanced and growing!
@kelli- I am so glad you are enjoying the site– comments like that make me feel so good– thank you!!
Thank you for this post! I have a day today (my mom is watching my daughter) and this will be so helpful. My most recent habit has been to sit at the computer when I get a me-time-moment. That’s good for brief time but as I sit with carpel tunnel wrist supports and stretch my back out and watch my hips spread, I shouldn’t too it too much! Many times it’s just the first thing that comes to my mind. SO, a list is going up on my frig today, thank you, Lisa!
My latest favorite me time activity: taking my time getting dressed (make-up, nails, perfume, accessories – the whole bit) while listening to my DVD of Beth Moore.
What a great list of ideas. We all tend to get lost sometimes and forget ourselves.
I can totally relate. I feel like I don’t enjoy life as much as I used to. It’s my own fault. I rarely take time to do things I once used to enjoy. Thanks for the reminder that it is important, and for your list of ideas.
I really appreciate your post – many mama’s need to hear it. What an encouragement you are!
My husband and I have worked together to carve out some time just for me (usually on the weekends). I remember when I first began I had the same reaction – what do I DO? I knew I needed the time, but wasn’t quite sure how to fill it, either. Also, I felt a bit guilty for the first few weeks….before I knew it, I came to RELY on those times to re-charge and invest in my own interests. I was able to ‘know’ myself again – I had an identity outside of my service to my family, and that felt darn good!
I also have a running list of what I like to do – but these days I don’t have to refer much at all – I tend to know exactly how I want to spend my time.
Hello! I’m new to your website… and I absolutely love everything in it!.. and you! I always felt (and still do) the same way when I have some time alone… not sure what to do with myself… like a clock is ticking away and my precious time is dwindling…I love this idea of “Me Time Menu”… who doesn’t love to read a menu with favorite down-time ideas. Thanks so much Lisa.. you are an inspiration to all!
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